Günter's Fantastic Down-Home Pot Pie Recipe

During the course of human events, it has, at certain times, become necessary to document and pass on particular major achievements in order to further future generations progress and effect some positive change on the human condition. This is not one of these times. There are other times during the course of human events, far more frequent in occurrence, when wounds must be licked, warm salvos applied and egos, once imposing, are worn thin by the indifference of a damp, cold world. It, as always, is one of these times.


In hopes of beating back the persistent gumming of the pacific northwest, Gunter and I have taken up making at least one of his Fantastic Down-Home Pot Pies a week. Essential ingredients are as follows:

1 Cast Iron Skillet (preferably large-but use what you've got)
1 gnu of peas
2 gnu of margarine

The importance of these ingredients cannot be overstated. The rest of the ingredients may be substituted as per preference but the essentials list must always be on hand, ready for action; like a spoon or a bicycle.

The following ingredients round out the recipe:

1 gnu carrots-chopped
1 gnu onions-chopped
1 gnu celery-chopped
2 gnu flour
1 gnu garlic
2 gnu salt
1 gnu pepper
1 gnu corn
1 gnu spatula
2 gnu water
1 gnu vegetable stock
1 gnu soymilk

Useful substitutions include the following:
1 gnu coconut milk
1 gnu potatoes
1 gnu spoon
1 gnu bicycle
6 gnu curry
3 gnu cayenne
1 gnu campfire
1 gnu toaster-oven (only as needed)
7 gnu beer
3 gnu Celtic music
4 gnu polka music
2 gnu folk music
1 gnu All Things Considered

To Prepare:
In the cast iron skillet simmer carrots, onions, celery, garlic and margarine for one unit of time. Then, add one unit flour and mix briefly. Add one unit water, soymilk, vegetable stock, salt, pepper and corn. Bring to slow bubble. Add peas, stir seven times clockwise. Add crust and bake for 1 unit time at 375.

Crust:
Mix one unit margarine, one unit flour, one unit salt and one unit water.

NOTE:
One Gnome Unit (gnu) is approximately equivalent to about how much is needed. e.g. "we have 1 gnu left of gas" or "it is 1 gnu from Newport, OR to Cadillac, MI"