Hood River cycling tour

Spring has finally sprung. Matt and I have put away all our winter gear: skis, snowboards, boots, shovels, the works. We cleaned the cobwebs off our saddles (and basement!) and took off to Hood River for a tour of the cherry blossoms, and to experience a Columbia Gorge windstorm the area is so famous for.

Here's a map of our route, borrowed from the tour de hood website. 42 miles and 4669ft in elevation gain. Sound fun? We thought so.


The cherry orchards were spectacular.

The view from the top (of the first climb).

We paused at the top to enjoy the view and snap a photo, but the 40 mph sustained winds chased us down the hairpin turns as we sought shelter in the Dalles

Though the view isn't quite as spectacular, the 1800ft summit of the second climb was a milestone. The second half of the tour was directly into the wind, starting with a solid 7 miles up this foothill. As Matt and I climbed a particularly exposed portion, I noticed I was moving at 2.8mph. I can walk my bike 3.3mph.

We paused to enjoy a nice roadside waterfall and a brief sunbreak in Mosier. Only 6 miles to go!

The tour was a success. We got back to the cars tired but looking forward to a local Full Sail microbrew and some food before we headed out to the Banff Mountain Film Festival.

It was a long day and Matt wanted to find a secluded spot to sleep it off. So around 10 pm we headed out of Hood River and up Hwy 35 to find Tucker Park, a county campground situated directly on the Hood River. There are around 90 campsites at Tucker Park, though we only saw three groups of campers. The campsites were fantastic, here's a photo of ours. Though we were only there for a few hours in the morning, I know we'll be back.

Red Dress Hash

A typical hash consists of a group of 'hares' that create and mark a trail with flour, chalk, or toilet paper, and the 'hounds', or, a pack of hashers that attempt to follow and catch the hares. In the process, the hares make false trails, loops, and dead-ends that the fastest hounds run down. The hounds follows the hares 10 or 15 minutes after they begin to set the trail (in our case, when we had finished two rounds of drinks at the first bar). When a hasher finds the correct trail (marked by three glops of flour in a row) they yell "On On" to the rest of the hounds. In this way, the slower hashers learn from the mistakes of the front-runners, and the entire pack ends up at the next stop at about the same time. The Red Dress Hash is a special event with a long history, of which you'll have to google, but the jist is that all hashers, male or female, must wear a red dress.

ON ON!

Running through Coos Bay, Oregon in search of our first drink stop. The locals went crazy for us by honking and shouting out their car windows. Children were mesmerized, stopping in their tracks on the sidewalks. It was festive.

These people can RUN! And I had prepared for the event by beefing up my beer tolerance. I guess I should have been sprinting 5 miles a day instead! Next time, I plan to be a front-runner. Probably.

Kevin showing off his newly-acquired twirling skills at our third stop,
after winning a game of badminton.

Plug:

"The Coos Bay Hash House Harriers is a drinking club with a running problem who sets trail about once a month or so in the Coos Bay Oregon area. We are open to all who want to join. It only takes half a brain to be a Hasher."

Pete! One of our fearless hares regaling us with stories at the end of the hash. Kegs of South Coast beer (thanks Jason! love the pale ale) and locally caught halibut were welcome after a long day of hashing.

Obviously, only half a brain decided to take a drink from the "golden urinal", the rest of me was too tired to argue.

Günter's Fantastic Down-Home Pot Pie Recipe

During the course of human events, it has, at certain times, become necessary to document and pass on particular major achievements in order to further future generations progress and effect some positive change on the human condition. This is not one of these times. There are other times during the course of human events, far more frequent in occurrence, when wounds must be licked, warm salvos applied and egos, once imposing, are worn thin by the indifference of a damp, cold world. It, as always, is one of these times.


In hopes of beating back the persistent gumming of the pacific northwest, Gunter and I have taken up making at least one of his Fantastic Down-Home Pot Pies a week. Essential ingredients are as follows:

1 Cast Iron Skillet (preferably large-but use what you've got)
1 gnu of peas
2 gnu of margarine

The importance of these ingredients cannot be overstated. The rest of the ingredients may be substituted as per preference but the essentials list must always be on hand, ready for action; like a spoon or a bicycle.

The following ingredients round out the recipe:

1 gnu carrots-chopped
1 gnu onions-chopped
1 gnu celery-chopped
2 gnu flour
1 gnu garlic
2 gnu salt
1 gnu pepper
1 gnu corn
1 gnu spatula
2 gnu water
1 gnu vegetable stock
1 gnu soymilk

Useful substitutions include the following:
1 gnu coconut milk
1 gnu potatoes
1 gnu spoon
1 gnu bicycle
6 gnu curry
3 gnu cayenne
1 gnu campfire
1 gnu toaster-oven (only as needed)
7 gnu beer
3 gnu Celtic music
4 gnu polka music
2 gnu folk music
1 gnu All Things Considered

To Prepare:
In the cast iron skillet simmer carrots, onions, celery, garlic and margarine for one unit of time. Then, add one unit flour and mix briefly. Add one unit water, soymilk, vegetable stock, salt, pepper and corn. Bring to slow bubble. Add peas, stir seven times clockwise. Add crust and bake for 1 unit time at 375.

Crust:
Mix one unit margarine, one unit flour, one unit salt and one unit water.

NOTE:
One Gnome Unit (gnu) is approximately equivalent to about how much is needed. e.g. "we have 1 gnu left of gas" or "it is 1 gnu from Newport, OR to Cadillac, MI"

Laugh Olympics

Matt and I were randomly invited to the Third Annual Laugh Olympics, hosted by Ram Papish, and attended by a whole mess of people we'd never met (including Ram!). I had to drag Matt to Ram's house, but as soon as we won the first event-Mashed Potato Sculpting (like pictionary, with mashed potatoes)-I think he was somewhat less reluctant to be there. Truthfully, we had to drag each other out there for the sake of the game, since we've been hibernating most of the winter and have been avoiding social situations for some time. I wish I had more pictures to share, but we dumbly forgot our camera. Nevertheless, I have a few photos borrowed from Ram and other partygoers to help illustrate.

Rub-a-Dub was the event. Players were supplied with a bucket of water and a bar of Ivory soap. Each bar was carefully weighed and the winner had to use the most soap in 3 minutes by rubbing it wherever he could. I think the hairiest guy won, hands down.



The talent show consisted of creating chin faces and showing off whatever talent you had. One team had an musical array complete with fiddles and a guitar, another team had an amazingly talented singer. Here's Uri (our team) in the midst of telling one of the funniest jokes I've ever heard...



The pudding-eating contest with a twist: the spoon feeding the contestant is held by a blindfolded team member. Doug almost drowned in his pudding. I think he's attempting not to vomit in this picture.


We were sent on a scavenger hunt, followed by a round of Jeopardy and The Price is Right, and then several events involving throwing things at or hitting other contestants while blindfolded. About midway through the game was the cooking contest where four ingredients were chosen for us, and each team had 20 minutes to cook up something delicious and inventive using all the ingredients. We won with an amazing banana/peanut butter/strawberry ice cream smoothy served in half a coconut (painfully sawed in half by one of our stronger members). All in all our team did really well, though we lost a close game on the last riddle...the answer to which was "Cheers".
Matt and I still feel like winners because we lasted the entire 8 hour competition!

Girls Weekend! Off to Fuji Mountain Shelter

The weekend before Finals Week, sadly for Matt, was Girls Weekend!

Alicia and I decided to head out towards Waldo Lake in hopes of finding the Fuji Mountain Shelter. I've been told it's a gnarly ski, but worthwhile because of the fantastic view of Diamond Peak. Click on the pic to see where we were.

Alicia and I skied away from Waldo Lake Sno Park toward the Fuji Mountain Trail Head on the easiest (by far!) part of the tour. It was a beautiful spring day and must have been 60 degrees!

Found it!

And now for the hard part...where are we again?

We made it halfway to the shelter and made camp on a nice flat as it was getting dark. Here's my standard shot in the camp kitchen, making water.

We headed out the next morning on the most technical part of the tour, and reached the shelter just as the storm hit. Eight of us weathered a night of 20-35 mph winds and 8-10 inches of snow in and around the Fuji Mountain Shelter.

We were thankful to be able to sleep in the loft Saturday night. The previous occupants had made a snow cave during the day and they were itching to try it out, so they moved out for the evening. Alicia and I were stoked we didn't have to set up our soaking wet tarp! The loft is the dark area behind the sign in the photo below.

The shelter had run out of firewood before we showed up, and the group of dads n kids had pulled in several dead trees. Here's Alicia working for our heat, happily sawing away at one of the dead trees.

I'm just hanging out, staying warm, and cooking ramen. I could get used to this snow shelter... Even better, master chef and father of a very cute 6 year old (in green) had brought fresh veggies, shrimp,and chicken and created a ramen feast for all of us.

Here's a shot looking out of the shelter at our mascot, Rover.

The next morning we decided to head down the easy way, towards Salt Creek Falls sno park, and catch a ride back to our car from some folk we met at the shelter. It had warmed up a lot since Saturday, and breaking trail through the foot-plus of snow was like slogging through wet cement. As we dropped in elevation the snow turned to rain and we were cold and absolutely soaked by the time we got to the car. I wish I could show you a pic, we looked like drowned puppies, but our shit was so wet we didn't bother. So, just imagine. :)